The Amazing Misadventures of Two Halfwits
by the Last Flowerchild
Summary: The history of the pirate mates Pintel & Ragetti, dating all the way back to the first day they met each other to how they escaped jail after the Curse of the Black Pearl ended. Not slash.
1. Part I, Chapter 1—An Unlikely Pairing

_The Amazing Misadventures of Two Half-wits_

_Part I—Before the Curse of the Pearl_

_Chapter 1—An Unlikely Pairing_

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Not that many survivors, not that many at all. Pintel crossed his arms and smiled to himself wryly. Yes, out of this lot of three Capitan Jack would probably invite about two lads to join the crew of the dreaded _Black Pearl_. Of course, there was a third survivor, but Pintel could tell that the most that would come from him was a little ridicule and then a swift death. The lad looked absolutely pitiful, though, scared stiff of what was to come.

This grim fact was only made clearer as Capitan Jack Sparrow stepped up in front of him and asked in his loud, confident voice, ''What's your name, lad?''

The trembling, skin-and-bones boy said through his mass of greasy hair that covered his eyes, ''Ra-Ragetti, sir.''

''That's Capitan Jack Sparrow!'' he boomed before continuing, once he saw how Ragetti jumped at the sound of his voice, ''Well, it's good to know you, master Ragetti. Now, tell me, do you value your life?''

Ragetti opened his mouth as if to say something, but abruptly closed it again. Pintel, along with the rest of the crew, snickered to themselves. The boy's cheeks flamed. Finally Ragetti forced the stubborn, shaky words past his lips. ''Yes sir, C-Capitan Sparrow. I reckon I do.''

Capitan Sparrow frowned. ''You had to think about it, lad? How odd...'' and his voice trailed off before he continued. ''Now, master Ragetti, I've learned a few things about you; one being your name, and another being the value that you place on your life, but I'm afraid that all of this does not save you from the inevitable.''

To this he let out a fearful little whimper. Although Pintel wasn't quite sure, he thought that Ragetti whispered to Capitan Sparrow, ''Please, I don't wanna die.''

Pintel frowned at what he thought the lad said. A sudden and regretful twinge of both pity and anger filled him—pity for the boy, but anger at having let pity enter his hard heart. His face became a solid rock of concentration as he stared at the boy named Ragetti. He was young, looking completely vulnerable in his almost childlike innocence. Pintel could tell that he wasn't bright, though, mostly by his startlingly blue, ignorant gaze that shined through his mop of sandy hair.

Pintel sighed. If he hadn't felt bad before, he suddenly did now, and this feeling was only made worse as Capitan Sparrow unsheathed his sword and grinned smugly at Ragetti. The boy's eyes grew wide as Jack offered him the sword and said in his echoing, great voice, "Well then, how'd you like to join our crew?"

Ragetti sputtered, "T-The _Black Pearl_?" he seemed to stutter now more out of pure astonishment rather than fear, although terror still showed in his jerky, careful movements to take the sword from Jack's hand. The Capitan nodded and his grin wavered.

"Indeed, boy, but you must promise me that you will uphold my orders and-"

"Yes sir, yes sir."

Jack nodded and continued, making Ragetti go red in the face again for a moment. "Yes, and obey my _every_..._waking_.._.order._"

"Yes, Capitan Sparrow, I promise, I really do."

The other two lads, the strong-bodied ones, both glanced at each other then shook their heads. "I can't believe this," one hissed at the other. "This is absolute madness!"

The other nodded and whispered back, taking a quick, cautious glance at Jack, "The boy can't even read his own name much less say it without stuttering!"

" 'Scuse me lads, but would you mind including your new captain in on your private conversation?" Jack cut in, ignoring the mortified look on Ragetti's face; the boy quickly turned his blue gaze to the deck of the ship as his face reddened in embarrassment.

Both pirates shook their heads and stepped away from Ragetti. Jack nodded and then announced to the rest of the crew, including the apprehensive Pintel, "Oi, gentlemen! We have just added three young ruffians to our crew! Two seem that they can handle themselves, but this one-" he nodded to Ragetti, "-will need some mentoring." and he smiled, clapped his hands together, and asked jubilantly, "Who will it be?"

The second mate, Barbossa, stepped out of the crew of pirates and glared at Jack. "What's the big idea, Sparrow, even giving that lad any ideas of becoming part of this crew?"

Jack shrugged and said loftily, "And why shouldn't I? He's an..." he struggled to find the right phrase and finally settled on, "Able-bodied lad?"

This came across as more of a question than an actual statement, and as Jack glanced over at Ragetti and saw that he was everything _but _able-bodied, he grimaced and shook his head. He turned back to Barbossa and said in an undertone, hoping that none of the other pirates could hear him, "I'll tell you later, but for now we need to find a mentor for him."

For Pintel the world seemed to stop as Jack turned his wily gaze to him and grinned slyly. Pintel swallowed and tried to look away, but it didn't help. Jack said, his words cutting Pintel in two, "Master Pintel, would you kindly take up the honor of teaching this young boy the laws of the _Black Pearl_?"

Pintel sighed. Did he have a choice? The other pirates that stood beside him snickered to themselves and moved aside, making room to let Ragetti stand next to his new mentor. "Damn them all," Pintel muttered to himself as Ragetti walked unsteadily over to them. He added in his mind, _Damn them all to the deepest pits of hell, including Capitan Sparrow._

The boy took his spot next to him. Pintel could feel him shaking, trembling, his ragged clothes still damp from when they had fished him out of the flotsam of his ship's demise. He didn't meet Pintel's severe gaze, but instead focused them down on his filthy nails, picking at them distractedly. Pintel sighed and rolled his eyes.

This was going to be a hell of a kid, alright.

* * *

Alright people here it is: I do not claim to own any characters in this fanfic, and I never will...unfortunately...

NOT SLASH. Rated **T **for mild language, violence, and alcohol.

Chapter 2 of Part I is coming up soon. Remember that reviews are love and thanks for reading.


	2. Part I, Chapter 2—Pintel Finds His Weak

_The Amazing Misadventures of Two Half-wits_

_Part I—Before the Curse of the Pearl_

_Chapter 2—Pintel Finds His Weak Spot_

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Since Pintel was more than a little awkward socially, he had difficulty early on coming up with reasonable conversation with the young pirate Ragetti. Instead of making himself uncomfortable and awkward, he just elected not to speak to him at all until he felt it an unavoidable necessity. Unfortunately this unfortunate necessity came earlier than he would've liked.

As Pintel roughly passed Ragetti his wooden pail and mop, the younger pirate frowned and asked in a puzzled way, "Wha' am I supposed to do wif this?"

Pintel snatched them from him and snapped, "You take this mop-" he held it up, "-and put it in the bucket, then you mop the floor with it!"

Ragetti stared at him blankly for a second, making Pintel groan hopelessly and throw the pail and bucket at him. "If you can't mop a floor, then you mi' as well get the bloody hell off this ship!"

Ragetti nodded and began mopping up the deck silently. Behind him other pirates who were busily working stopped and stared at him and chuckled amongst themselves. This only made Pintel angrier as he began to furiously mop the deck, his face reddening. Ragetti stopped and stared at him in almost a concerned way.

"Wha's wrong wif you?"

He shook his head and continued with his work. "Nothing, ya fool. Get back to work."

He mopped up the deck for another second before stopping and glaring over at the group of laughing pirates. This didn't make them cease their insistent chuckling, though. Pintel shook his head and tried to refocus on his work, but found himself unable to do so once again. This time he sighed and said to Ragetti, "Don't you see what they're doin'?"

The younger pirate didn't stop working until he looked up and realized it was he who Pintel was addressing. When he realized this he shrugged, never stopping his mopping. "I dunno." was his simple answer.

"They're laughin' at you!"

Another shrug then, "S'what? Ev'rybody does."

Pintel considered this answer for a moment before asking, "Wha'?"

Ragetti reached up, wiped some of his blond hair out of his eyes with one wasted wrist, and said breathlessly, "I'm an id'jot, I stutter sometimes, an' I can't read. O'course they gots reason to laugh at me. I deserve it."

This made Pintel's heart fill with the same guilt and pity and anger that it had filled with when he had first seen Ragetti. He shook his head and said quietly, more to himself than his companion, "Na, that taint right a'all."

Ragetti, however, took little notice of his words and continued with his mopping. Pintel, accepting this, shook his head and went back to work as well.

* * *

Later that evening when everyone had fallen stiff in their hammocks, Pintel couldn't help but let is mind wander back to Ragetti's words. Sure, he was an idiot and he may even be illiterate, but how could someone be used to this kind of ridicule? Pintel couldn't accept this.

In the hammock above him there came the sound of straining ropes as Ragetti adjusted himself in his hammock. Pintel could see the sharp jut of his shoulder blades as he laid on his back, and hanging over the hammock were his feet. He was a little too tall for his hammock, but nothing could be done to help this. Pintel cleared his throat.

"Hey, you alright up there, kid?"

Ragetti's hammock shook suddenly as the boy jumped from the sound of his voice. A soft, cautious voice whispered back down at him, "What? Yeah, sure."

"Can ya sleep?"

"I guess."

"Then why're ya still awake?"

There was a moment of silence before Ragetti answered cluelessly, "I don' know, sir."

Pintel rolled his eyes and said back up to him, "Don't call me sir, you fool."

"Sorry."

"An' stop bein' sorry all tha time."

"Sorr—oh, okay. Sorry."

"I said stop!"

"You're yellin'!" Ragetti whispered warningly.

Pintel took a deep breath and calmed down before saying quietly, above the snores of the other pirates, "Well too bad. When you signed up fer this crew the Captain didn't say it was goin' be a fun time without yellin'." he paused and added thoughtfully, "Besides, we're pirates; we yell. It's wha' we do."

"Oh." was the only response that his words merited. Then, gradually, Ragetti forced out the words, "Well I ne'er said I was a good pirate. I ain't good at much of anything, really."

Pintel swallowed and cursed himself for ever speaking. He whispered coldly, "Shut yer mouth an' go to sleep, boy. Work starts early tomorrow an' if yer not rested I'll have ta take up yer slack."

"Sorry, Pintel."

"Stop sayin' that, and stop callin' me sir—oh, well fine then." and he grew silent, let his eyes close. Tomorrow was going to be a long day.

* * *

Pintel had always heard that every man had a weak spot. For some it was a pretty woman, but for others it was a shining bit of gold. Pintel had never considered himself weak before, in fact he had always thought himself a strong, able man, but the next day, as he snatched the pail and mop from Ragetti's hands and demonstrated to him how to mop the deck evenly, he felt the guilt, pity, and anger filling his heart again.

He shook himself, though, and resumed his work. Ragetti stared at him with a concerned look, like he had the day before. "Wha's wrong? Wha' did I do?"

"Ya...ya didn' do nothing, now shut yer mouth and get back to work, ya fool."

_Please, God, no, not now...I can't afford to be weak now..._

"Pintel, am I doin' it right now?"

He glared over at him, anger filling him all over again, and snapped irritably, "Yeah, yeah, keep goin'!"

No, he didn't consider it as even a remote possibility. Ragetti _couldn't _be his weakness, no matter how sorry he felt for him...no matter if he was beginning to consider him a friend...No, he had no friends. He could not survive if he had friends tying him down, distracting him. He shook his head as if to affirm this as he mopped the deck with even, strong strokes.

But as the laughter of the pirates filled his ears, he felt himself turn red, even if the jests weren't aimed at him. He had an urge to defend the boy, because he couldn't defend himself. Whether or not this could be considered a weakness, Pintel didn't know. Time would tell. Their first fight on the high seas would determine that.

And a twisted idea filled the pirate's brain suddenly; he didn't like Ragetti. He didn't even _know _him. Did he really want him hanging around for the next few months? Pintel smiled to himself as the idea began to take root. He would leave the boy, first chance he got, in the thick of battle, to be dealt with by the opposing crew. He would be skewered, no doubt, he would die, and Pintel would be free again. Sure, it might be painful, the lad might even cry, but what did Pintel care?

Yes, Pintel decided right then and there that Ragetti would die.


	3. Part I, Chapter 3—Initiation

_The Amazing Misadventures of Two Half-wits_

_Part I—Before the Curse of the Pearl_

_Chapter 3—Initiation_

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Pintel sighed as Barbossa stepped out onto the deck and glared down at the planked wood, which was now sparkling and spotless thanks to he and Ragetti. He sneered then turned to Pintel and said, "How's the lad been workin' out for ye? Is he keepin' up?"

Pintel nodded. "Yessir, he's been jus' fine."

This made Ragetti grin broadly, idiotically. He seemed proud of himself as he opened his mouth to say something. Barbossa cut him off. "Good. Tomorrow I expect to have this whole deck spotless again, understand? The lad can't read, but he might as well learn to mop." and he shifted his glaring gaze over to Ragetti himself, who just looked down, his shoulders slumped, and sniffled a little; he rubbed his nose distractedly.

"Aye, sir." he said quietly, as if this was the answer to every question that had ever been asked to him. Barbossa, accepting this, nodded and walked off to another group of pirates.

Once he was gone, Pintel shook his head and continued cleaning. Ragetti tried to do the same, but found that he could only sigh a little, rub his awkward, skinny shoulders, and lean against the ship. After allowing him about a minute of this rest, Pintel glared at him and spat, "What're you up to, kid?"

"M'name's Ragetti, Pintel."

"I know that!" he yelled, infuriated. The boy shrugged and grimaced.

"Wan'nt sure, I thought that ya mighta forgot the way yer always callin' me _kid _or _boy _or _idiot..."_

"Well it's true! Look at ya leanin' against the ship like that, doin' nothin'." Pintel snapped as he threw his mop down. "What's wrong with ya?"

"M'shoulders are achin', Pint."

He glared at Ragetti. "Don' call me that, ya fool."

"Sorry," the lad answered, becoming shy all over again. He closed his blue eyes and sighed. His whole incredibly thin frame was heaving, his bony chest struggling for breath. Pintel frowned. He felt a stab of concern enter his heart as he took a step nearer him.

"Rags, ya okay?"

By the time the words had left his mouth, he felt angry with himself. Calling the boy Rags? Unacceptable. The way he figured it, often people—especially Ragetti—were like animals; if you gave them a nickname or something of the like, you would get attached to them. He shook himself and prayed silently that the boy wouldn't notice. Unfortunately he did. Ragetti looked up, his eyes now alight with curiosity and confusion, and swallowed.

"Pintel, what'd you call me?"

"An idiot," he answered back, "I called ye and idiot fer actin' so lazy."

"But...but I f-feel sick." he answered breathlessly as he shifted more of his weight against the side of the ship. His face was pale now, and sweating. His eyes watered. Pintel took a step back, hoping that he wouldn't say-

"I think I'm gonna..."

He allowed his voice to trail off as his hand shot to cover his mouth and his eyes grew wide, so wide that they were boggling out of his skull. Suddenly a voice came to them, the strong, steady voice of Capitan Sparrow. "Oi, lads, what's the idea? Why aren't you working?"

Pintel picked up his mop and motioned to Ragetti. "I think the kid's sick, Capitan."

Jack frowned down at Ragetti and asked, "This true, lad?"

He nodded and made to remove his hand from his mouth so that he could speak, but as soon as he did Pintel knew that he had made a mistake. Ragetti let out a pained moan and emptied out the contents of his stomach on Captian Sparrow's boots. When he was done, he leaned over, shaking horribly, his eyes full of shame and self-loathing.

"Suh-S-Sorry..."

Jack had a disgusted look on his face as he nodded and shook off his boots, attempting to get off some of the vomit that was on his boots. "That's...well, I guess that's just fine, lad. It can't be helped now." and Jack sighed and stared down at his boots. He rolled his eyes and breathed, "Aye, that's just great. Lovely, in fact...just bloody brilliant."

He pointed to Pintel, who nodded, already knowing what was to come. "Oi, you, Pintel—is that your name?"

His face fell as he said rather brokenly, "But Capitan, I've been a part of yer crew for years."

He arched a brow and a corner of his mouth curved sharply in a frown. "Yes, and? Why are you wasting my time with such trivial things?"

"Well I...I would hope that you would know my na..." and his voice trailed off. Pintel finally gave in and nodded sullenly, "Aye, Captian. I'll clean up the mess." After all, even if the Capitan didn't know his name at all, he still had to follow orders.

"Good man!" Jack exclaimed as he made to walk away, slapping Pintel on the shoulder as he did so. "And make sure that you get me a nice, new pair of boots to give me to replace these."

Once he had gone, Pintel glared at Ragetti and slapped him in the back of his head. He reached around and whimpered, "What's that fer, Pint?"

"I told ye not to call me that, ya idiot!"

"I'm sorry!"

"An' stop bein' sorry all tha time!" Pintel said as he took his mop and began to scrub away the mess. "It's annoyin' after a while."

"I know. I can' help it."

They both stared at each other for a moment before Pintel looked away and resumed mopping, murmuring curse words under his breath. Ragetti didn't get back to work, however. He cleared his throat and spat over the edge of the ship, then wiped his mouth.

"Pint?"

"Stop callin' me—you know what? Ne'er mind." and he sighed and asked, "Yeah?"

"My mouth tastes bad."

"How can you taste the inside of yer own mouth, fool?"

He shrugged his lanky shoulders. "I dunno, ya just do."

"Yeah, yeah." Pintel commented distractedly as he continued his work. He nodded to Ragetti's neglected pail and mop and said, "You'd best be getting' back to work or-"

"Oi, and what's this?"

Pintel turned around and Ragetti just jumped at the suddenness of the voice. Standing behind them were two very different looking pirates; the light skinned pirate Twigg, and his black companion Koehler. They both stood there glaring at Pintel. As soon as he saw both of them, Ragetti looked down at his feet. This action only served to make Pintel angrier.

"What do you two want?" he snapped at them. Twigg chuckled as he and Koehler walked up to him.

"What's your problem?" Twigg asked.

Koehler, seeing the mess that Ragetti had made on the deck, elbowed his friend and said, laughing softly, "Looks like _someone _got a little seasick. I wonder which one of 'em it was." as he said this he turned to Ragetti and smiled. "What about you? What's your name, kid?"

"Rah-Rah..."

"Rah? Rah's 'is name?" Twigg asked.

Pintel glared at him and said, " 'S name's Ragetti."

"Well why didn't _he _answer me, then? Is he stupid, or just mute?" Koehler asked. Pintel shrugged.

"He ain't mute, but I don't know about stupid." and then he added, "He's illiterate, though."

This made the two pirates laugh hysterically, but Pintel did not. As it turned out, he was serious. He halfway smiled, though, but when he saw the shamed look on Ragetti's face his smile faded. Twigg saw this and frowned. "What's got into you, Pintel? Taint got no soft spot for _him, _I 'ope."

He shook his head. "Nah, nofink like that at all, s'just he's sick an' I was just rememberin' my first time on a ship an' how sick I got."

Koehler rolled his eyes and asked sarcastically, "Oh, is that right?"

"Yeah," Pintel said, "S'right."

Koehler and Twigg exchanged glances. Ragetti went to look at Pintel, but found that he was still glaring at Koehler. A wide grin spread across Twigg's face as he glared down at Ragetti and hauled him to his feet. "On yer feet, you lazy swine!" Pintel inhaled sharply.

"What're you..."

Koehler snatched Ragetti's mop from up off the ground and said to Pintel, "So then you wouldn't mind if we give the lad a little..._initiation?"_

He felt his heart beat a little faster as he turned to look at Ragetti. He shook his head and said, feeling wretched, "Nah, not at all." He watched as the other pirate's eyes filled with fear. Ragetti didn't even have to speak the words for Pintel to know what he was thinking:

_What are they going to do to me?_

As if to defend his actions, Pintel said, "We all 'ad to have one, ain't that right, boys? We all had to get initiated. Makes it official, don't it?"

Twigg nodded. "Exactly." and he glanced at Koehler and said, snickering, "I woke up in m'hammock with a dead octopus stuck on m'head."

Koehler laughed and slapped Twigg on the shoulder. He nodded. "Aye, I 'member that! I came up with that idea after you got sick cause you thought ya saw an octopus on the side 'o the_ Pearl_."

"I did see one!" he said defensively as his grip on Ragetti's faded jacket tightened. Ragetti himself let out a whimper of fear and cleared his throat.

All three pirates grew silent as they focused their attention on him. Even Pintel payed attention, thinking that perhaps, by some miracle of God, Ragetti would speak willingly. Then he said, "I don't want no octopus in m'bed."

Koehler frowned. "You some kind of fool, boy?"

There came the cruel sound of Barbossa's voice saying, "Masters Twigg, Koeheler, and Pintel, just what are you doin'?"

They all turned around, surprised to see Jack Sparrow's first mate standing a ways away. Pintel sighed. Out of all the times for him to show up, now he was thankful. Immediately Twigg released his hold on the tall, skinny Ragetti and smiled. " 'Ello, Barbossa an' Capitan Jack. 'Ow are the both of yous doin' today?"

"I'd be doin' a lot better if the deck wouldn't be smellin' of sickness and you would all be workin'." Jack answered. Twigg and Koehler nodded and hurried back to their work. Pintel just shook his head and picked up his mop. Ragetti made to do the same, but Barbossa stopped him.

"Master Ragetti, Captian Sparrow and I wish to have a word with ye."

"But I-"

"It'll be quick."

Ragetti looked at Pintel, who just shrugged. Without a word he went up to Barbossa, his head bowed and his shoulders, like usual, slumped horribly, making him look inches shorter than he actually was. "Aye, sir." was all he said as he followed Barbossa to Capitan Sparrow's quarters.

* * *

Pintel didn't see Ragetti for quite some time. When everyone was asleep in their hammocks, and the sun had gone far below the horizon, he came staggering in, a tad bit more clumsily than usual. The lad's hands were outstretched trying to find a wall to lean on. Pintel rolled his eyes as Ragetti climbed into bed, nearly falling more than once, his feet slipping on the ladder that led up to his hammock. Above Pintel, Ragetti's hammock started swinging violently as he plopped into it. He frowned.

"Oi, Rags?"

Once again, he cursed himself for having called him that. Fortunately this time Ragetti didn't notice. He just asked drunkenly back, "Y-Yeah, Pint?"

"You all right?"

There was a moment of silence before Ragetti chuckled and whispered back, "Captain Sparrow—he-he gave me some rum an' tol' me 'bout this odd thing..."

Suddenly Pintel became interested. "Wha' odd thing?"

" 'S a wooden...eye...thing...I don't know, 'e jus' said that if I was a good pirate he'd give it t'me."

Pintel frowned and said to himself, "Well that don't make much sense."

"Well s'what 'e told me...then 'e game—oh, 'e _gave _me lots of rum an' tol' me not to tell nobody, but I can tell's you, cause you ain't nobody-"

"Oh, well bloody thanks for that, Rags." Pintel commented as he turned over in his hammock. He had enough of the boy's senseless rambling for one day. Ragetti wouldn't be quiet, though.

"-you ain't nobody, your Pint, so I figure that I can tell you."

This struck Pintel as odd, so he asked, "Whatchu mean?"

"I dunno, yer not nobody. Yer just Pint."

This didn't make much sense to him either, but he accepted it, and as he closed his eyes and went to sleep he whispered to Ragetti, "Kid, you sure aren't what I was expectin', ya know."

* * *

In his mind Ragetti was busily going over his visit to Captain Sparrow's quarters for what would've had to have been the hundredth time. Each time he thought about it, he only got more and more confused, and his head began to ache and his eyes began to pound in their sockets. The rum clouded his memory, made everything incredibly vague and difficult, but he could remember the majority of his conversation.

He remembered feeling an odd sense of secrecy as he walked into Capitan Jack's quarters. Barbossa, of course, followed close behind, making him nervous. He had never liked Barbossa. He was bigger than him—but this wasn't saying much, because, in fact, _most _people were bigger than him in a horizontal sense—and he had a certain air of superiority about him. But then again, didn't all pirates?

As he entered Jack's quarters, the captain nodded to him and motioned for him to sit down. "Sit down, lad, and have some rum."

Ragetti did, as usual, like he was told without complaint. He grabbed the rum bottle that Jack offered to him and took a deep drink, his eyes watering as the warm rum slid down his scrawny gullet. Barbossa stood next to him, his arms crossed over his chest, staring down at him oddly. For some reason everyone in this crew tended to stare at him like that.

Once he was done Jack took the rum bottle back and took a good, long drink from it himself, only stopping when Barbossa cleared his throat and said irritably, "Beggin' your pardon, but I do believe that he has work to be getting back to."

He nodded and put the rum bottle down on the table that was in front of him. "Right. Good thinkin', First Mate Barbossa."

Barbossa rolled his eyes. "Aye, of course."

Jack turned his focus to Ragetti and said, "Now, lad, Barbossa has just brought a very important item to my attention, and well...how should I put this mildly? Well, we'd like for you to keep it...for a while...just to keep it safe, you know."

"I don' understand, Cap'n."

Jack glanced at Barbossa and nodded. Ragetti turned and watched as the first mate pulled out a round, wooden sphere. He passed it to the young pirate and watched as he rolled it around and smiled. Ragetti held it for a second before grimacing and saying, "Cap'n 't gave me a splinter."

"Walk it off and drown it in rum," He said as he opened a new bottle and passed it to him. Ragetti drank it eagerly. He had never had so much alcohol at once in his life, and he certainly was taking a liking to rum.

Barbossa sighed and said, growing tired of the young pirate's antics, "Sparrow, any more of that an' you'll be sendin' him to bed drunk, and we already know that he's prone to seasickness."

Jack shrugged and took back the wooden eye from Ragetti. "Do you know the importance of that wooden eye, lad?"

He shrugged and hiccuped a little. "N'sir, can't say that I do."

"This-" he held up the eye, "-is one of the Pieces of Eight." When Ragetti showed no signs of knowing what Jack was talking about, he continued, "This is first mate Barbossa's Piece of Eight. All pirate lords put whatever they had in their pockets into a bucket one day, and those things were called the Pieces of Eight."

Ragetti nodded, his eyes still bright with confusion as he took another sip of rum. "Mm-hmm. S'what's that got ta do wif me, Cap'n? What's the Pieces of Eight gon' be used fer?"

Barbossa held up his hand and said, "Aye, now that's the question that you won't get the answer to. Not until we think that we can trust ye with the eye. When we give it to ye, ye will learn." and he took the rum bottle out of Ragetti's hand and replaced it with a ripe, green apple. "Now get back to yer work an' eat that. Ya need some meat on yer bones."

He hurried Ragetti out the room, and before the door was slammed in his face, he managed to ask, "But when will I get it?"

"When the time's right, you'll know!" Barbossa snapped before closing the door in his face. Ragetti blinked rapidly, trying to make the world come back into proper focus, before turning and staggering off to bed.

As soon as he had been told about the eye, he decided that he must tell Pintel. He didn't quite know why, but he felt like he had to tell somebody, and Pintel was the only somebody that he really knew. That, and the fact that Ragetti trusted him, despite himself. He had always had a hard time trusting people, mostly because he felt like they were always trying to get the best of him or make a fool of him, but not Pintel. Pintel didn't have anything to gain by doing that to him, so Ragetti felt, and that's why he trusted him so much.

How could Pintel let him down?

* * *

What neither Pintel or Ragetti knew was the conversation _after _Ragetti had left. Once Barbossa had slammed the door in his face and locked it, he turned back to Jack. "We didn't exactly inform him of the conditions he would have to be in to actually get the blasted thing."

Captain Sparrow shrugged and took another sip of rum. He reclined his feet on the table and a hand behind his head in a leisurely pose. "Well maybe if _someone _would've brought something practical, then maybe we wouldn't be in this fix to begin with...maybe."

Barbossa nodded and plucked a ripe apple from the basket that was on Jack's desk. "Aye, maybe. And maybe if you would've just let me handle it then-"

"You?" Jack asked, "_You? _Well let's see now, what if I had let you handle it?"

"Then there wouldn't be such an urgent need for a safe place fer it, would there?"

He shook his head. "No, but if I had let you handle it the boy would've lost his bloody eye as soon as he stepped onto me ship!"

Barbossa smiled as he bit into the apple. "At least there wouldn't be a problem."

Jack sighed. "No, there wouldn't, I suppose." and he looked down at his rum bottle and ran his finger along the edge of it, thinking. He finally looked back up at his first mate and said, "We need a safe place for the eye, aye?"

Barbossa frowned as he swallowed his bite of apple. "Aye to the statement, or aye to us still talkin' about the actual eye?"

"The blasted eye! I think..." Jack thought about it for a second then said, "Yes, the second one; aye to us still talkin' about the eye."

He nodded. "Aye, then."

"An' you have to make sure that you can lay your eyes on it—no pun intended, mate—whenever you feel like it, aye?"

Another nod. "Aye."

"Then isn't this the only logical thing to do? Didn't your blasted monkey lose it last week and we had to make everyone stop what they were doing to look for it?"

Barbossa hesitated before admitting, "Aye, but it be more complicated then that, Jack." Then, as if on cue, the monkey came screeching through the slightly opened window of Jack's quarters. Barbossa smiled and petted his head. Jack grimaced.

"Always hated that little bugger," he commented as he got to his feet and put on his hat. Barbossa turned to him.

"Where ya goin'?"

"Get some more rum. We're almost out." and he walked to the door, but before he left he turned to Barbossa and ordered, "And don't let that little devil out of your sight."

"What? The monkey?"

He shook his head. "Nah, the lad. What's his name? Ragetti. Yeah, don't let him outta your sight." and he went out the door.

* * *

Yeah, I know what you're thinking: that isn't how Ragetti got his wooden eye. Keep in mind that they were never really _specific _about how he got it. He only went up to Barbossa and said something along the lines of, 'I kept it safe, just like you asked me to.' (_POTC/World's End_) This, therefore, gives me relative freedom on how to write up how he got his eye, and freedom is good. Rest assured that I'm trying to keep this story as accurate as possible, and Barbossa will definitely present him with the eye when the time comes. I've just read so many similar Pintel/Ragetti fanfics, and I'm trying to make my stand out.

Once again, thanks for reading and much love and peace to you.

Reviews are love and appreciated. Thanks to those who have reviewed thus far. I really appreciate it and I'm glad you like it.


	4. Part I, Chapter 4—Plan B

_The Amazing Misadventures of Two Half-wits_

_Part I—Before the Curse of the Pearl_

_Chapter 4—Plan B_

[][][]

The whole crew watched, their swords drawn, as the Black Pearl began advancing on an EITC ship, its pirate colors hoisted high. Next to Pintel Ragetti stood, his tall, lanky frame shaking a little. The lad was breathless, breathing in air like he couldn't get enough. Pintel glared up at him.

"What's wif you, Rags?"

"I don't feel good...I fink I'm sick."

"Oh no you're not, you're just scairt."

Ragetti stared down at him and Pintel turned away, tried to ignore his searing gaze. " 'Ow you know that?" Pintel opened his mouth to answer, but before he could even get a word out, a new question rose to Ragetti's mind. He asked, "What if I die?"

Pintel shrugged. "Then yer dead, I guess." and in his mind he added, _Of course you're going to die, then I won't have to look after you..._

This was it. This was the day his plan would be fulfilled and his weakness, Ragetti, would be taken out of his life forever. No more distractions, no more anything. He'd be alone again...perfectly alone. The idea of it, the idea of having to live without his childish questions and concerns both frightened, saddened, and excited him all at once. He swallowed and stared back up at the kid.

Ragetti's eyes were alive and dancing with fear. A certain darkness had come over his blue eyes, and as he looked out at the sea, at the waving flags of the EITC ship, he began breathing hard all over again. "I don' wanna die, Pint."

"Well then don' get stabbed and ye'll be fine, ya fool."

"Well what if I'm not good at fightin'?"

"Then I'll..." Pintel's voice caught in his throat as he prayed silently not to say what he was thinking. He couldn't help himself, not as he saw how pitiful and sorry the boy was. He took a deep breath and said regretfully, "I'll...Well then, I suppose that ye'll jus' have ta stay wif me, then. I'll..." another deep breath and he said begrudgingly, "I'll take care of ye."

This seemed to ease Ragetti's nerves slightly as Capitan Jack called out, his voice echoing off the deck of the Black Pearl, "Make ready the guns, load the cannons! Come on, ladies, get your rear ends into gear and go!"

Barbossa stood next to the captain, yelling out orders at pirates. "Hurry up now, you imbecile! Don't just stand there, get out your sword and get ready! We're not going for an afternoon tea, we're going to kill Navy swine! _Move!"_

It was then that Pintel reached over and pulled on the sleeve of Ragetti's faded jacket sleeve. "C'mon, let's go."

"Go where?"

"Jus' follow me."

He lead Ragetti down below decks and to a neglected cannon. He ordered, "Go an' get me a canno-"

Ragetti handed him one, his thin arms quaking with the weight of it. He passed it to Pintel with a labored groan and said, "I got one soon as we came down 'ere."

Pintel arched a brow. "But how'd-"

"I ain't stupid, I shot a cannon a'fore." and then he thought and added, "I 'ave been on a ship a'fore this, ya know."

He nodded. "Right." and then loaded the cannonball into the cannon. He hesitated before lighting the cannon and waited for Barbossa to come below decks and hold his hand up.

"We're on her tail, boys, just hold a little longer!" and he looked back up at the top deck and called, "Jack, jus' say when and we'll-"

"Fire! Now, fire all!" Jack howled, popping his head below decks for a moment the going back up above.

"Cover yer ear-"

Before Pintel could even finish his sentence a dozen cannons went off, making the boat rock slightly. Ragetti covered his ears and closed his eyes as he and Pintel's cannon went off. The sound of splintering wood and the cries of men filled their ears. Pintel grinned and went to load the cannon again, but before he could, a cannonball flew through the Pearl's hull, an few inches from Ragetti's head. The younger pirate's eyes grew wide as he stood frozen there, not

Pintel rolled his eyes and yanked him down by the hem of his red shirt. "Don' be stupid. When yer getting shot don' jus' stand there waitin' ta die."

Ragetti was panting again. "Su-Sorry."

"Stop sayin' that!"

"Well I can't help it!"

Suddenly a dozen more cannonballs came soaring through the interior of the ship, splintering wood and killing pirates left and right. Pintel tugged on Ragetti's shirt and yelled, "Let's go!"

He and Ragetti made to hurry to the upper deck of the ship, but as soon as Pintel climbed the stairs and saw the carnage, he pushed Ragetti back below decks, where cannons were still tearing the Pearl apart. He had to chose now; stay below decks and get torn apart by cannons, or go up and get cut apart by the swords of the opposing crew.

"What we waitin' fer, Pint?"

"Be quiet, I'm thinkin'!"

He made to walk down below decks again, but staggered back as a pirate that had been shot by a cannonball flew in front of him and hit the wall of the Pearl. His eyes grew wide as he pushed Ragetti back up the stairs that led to the upper decks. "Alrigh', let's go."

Ragetti tugged on his sleeve, though, and whispered urgently, his eyes wide, "But...I ain't never fought with no sword a'fore."

Pintel's mouth fell open as he asked, "What'd ya say, Rags?"

"I..." he looked down in an embarrassed way and said, "I ain't never fought with no sword."

"But I thought you said that you'd been on a ship a'fore! That you'd fired a cannon!"

He nodded. "I have, but that was on that Royal Navy ship that the _Pearl_ sunk, 'member? The _Good Mary_?"

Pintel's mouth was still agape as he said, "Uh-huh, but...I don't..."

Ragetti said, realizing that Pintel still didn't understand how he didn't know how to use a sword, "Well I had only been on that crew fer a few days, an-"

"Long enough fer you to learn how to work a cannon!"

He shrugged. "It's easy really. I know you need one'a them cannonball things...anyways, the captain of the _Good Mary_ recruited me up in Tortuga and two or three days later the _Pearl_ caught us an'-"

"An' ya don't know how to use a sword?"

He shook his head. "Nah. Sorry, Pint." and his voice suddenly became panicked. "What am I gonna do?"

There came the sounds of pirates howling in agony above. Pintel's face became pale with fear as he hissed, "Yer gonna take this sword-" he bent down and snatched a sword from one of the dead pirates that lay at his feet, "-an' yer gonna try an' stay alive, got it? It ain't hard to do, just try an' stab someone if they give ye trouble."

And he turned to go up the stairs, but Ragetti pulled on his sleeve again. "But what if I die?"

"I already told ya that! If ye die, then you're dead, no questions asked, goodbye Rags, see ya in the afterlife. Ya know, that kinda thing."

He nodded but didn't make a move to follow Pintel. "Uh-huh," he said before hesitating and asking the idiotic question, "An' afterlife in this case means...wha' exactly?"

"Hell!" Pintel yelled, his eyes wide. Ragetti frowned.

"Hell as in the literal term—as in the place—or as in the curse?"

Pintel, now realizing that it might just be easier to abandon him after all, sighed. "The case of the actual place, ya fool.

Ragetti nodded once again, a now sure look of terror on his face. "Oh, okay."

And both pirates hurried up the stairs that lead to the upper deck of the _Pearl—_despite the fact that it was more like Pintel having to nearly drag Ragetti away, amidst his desperate, rambling prayers and whimpering of the Hail Mary. When the got to the upper deck Pintel immediately jumped into the thick of battle, though he had to end up tugging Ragetti along with him, to make sure that the lad didn't die.

His mind got lost however, as he came in contact with a member of the opposing crew. As it turned out, it was impossible to think about anything other than fighting, so he inevitably lost track of Ragetti amongst the madness of battle. That is, until there came the shrill cry of, "Ow! Me hand!"

Pintel, having just run the EITC crew member through, turned around and wiped the blood off his sword. Ragetti was standing a ways away clumsily slashing at another finely dressed man. He rolled his eyes and yelled, "Run 'im through, Rags!"

Ragetti looked his way and held up his now bleeding and cut hand. " 'E cut me hand, Pint!"

Pintel rolled his eyes. "Well does that make you incapable of picking up a damned sword?"

The EITC crew member was having too good of a time laughing at Ragetti as the pirate asked cluelessly, "What?"

That was the only answer that he needed. Without further hesitation, Pintel pushed past many pirates and EITC crew members alike, his sword raised. By the time the EITC crewman had raised his sword to deliver his final stroke against Ragetti, Pintel's sword was sticking out of his stomach. The man let out a last grunt and let his sword clatter onto the deck of the _Pearl. _He fell motionless at Pintel's feet, his eyes still open, but lifeless. Once that was done, Pintel glared at Ragetti and slapped him in the back of the head. The pirate staggered back and frowned, his hand gripping the back of his head where he had been struck.

"Wha' was that fer?"

"Ya id'jot! 'Pint, 'ee cut me hand!'"

"Well he did!" Ragetti said defensively. Pintel shook his head and sighed.

"Can ya do nothin' right, Rags?"

He shrugged. "Never really tried a'fore, come to think of it." he answered idiotically.

Pintel gave him a I-can-not-believe-that-I'm-stuck-with-you glance and said, "Do me a favor, Rags."

"Sure."

"Try not to think of anything for the resta your life."

* * *

Once the battle had been won and all the pirates were celebrating with rum and song, Ragetti managed to find Barbossa, who was standing off in Jack's quarters, munching on an apple. He hesitated before entering the room, however. Instead he turned to Pintel, who stood behind him, watching him closely.

"What's wrong now?"

"I...I can't go in there an' jus' _ask _him!"

"Damned if ye can't!" Pintel said. Seeing that the pained look on Ragetti's face didn't lessen, he made a move to push past him. "Damn it all, Rags! If 'ee promised ye that blasted eye, then yer getting that blasted eye!"

"Wait! Your jus' gonna make it worse, goin' in all angry like that!"

"Well at least I ain't scairt!"

Ragetti sighed. "I know. Yer not scairt of anythin', but a'fore you go in there lemme talk to him." Pintel sighed and backed away a little from the door. Ragetti seemed relieved at this, but he still added an extra, "Please. I'll do it, I promise."

Pintel nodded and stepped aside. "Fine, then. Go in there an' I don't want to see ya comin' out until ye've got that damned eye."

Ragetti nodded and reached for the door. Before he did, however, Barbossa appeared in the doorway, glaring down at him. Ragetti shrank back and whimpered. " 'Ello, Barbossa."

He sneered at the pirate and hissed, "Ya know, the door was still open."

Ragetti nodded and said cluelessly, "Yeah, it was. Oh, sorry, did ya want me to close it?"

The first mate rolled his eyes. "No, you blasted fool! I could hear everything that you just said!"

"Oh," was all that Ragetti said for a moment before inquiring, "So...do ya want me to close the door or no-" before he could even finish his sentence, Barbossa had pushed past the lanky pirate and taken another bite of his apple. Ragetti took a quick glance at Pintel before electing to follow Barbossa. "Um...sir? Mister Barbossa, sir?"

"What do ya want, boy?" he asked, whirling around. Ragetti stopped walking and swallowed nervously.

"Well...ya see, ya sorta did promise me that I'd be getting that eye soon, an' I was jus' wonderin' if-"

"You were wondering if I was going to give it to you tonight, wasn't you?" Barbossa asked.

He nodded and said proudly, "I killed someone."

To this Barbossa just sighed heavily once more and closed his eyes for a long moment, murmuring curses under his breath. Then he hissed, "No, _you _didn't kill someone, that idiot did!" he pointed to Pintel, who had managed to procure a bottle of rum and was drinking from it with gusto. Seeing this, the first mate shook his head, seized Ragetti's arm, and lead him off a ways, to a quiet place.

"Don't ya understand, boy?"

"Understand what?"

"That yer not getting that eye until...until..." looking into Ragetti's ever enthusiastic idiotic blue eyes, Barbossa's voice wavered. He stepped away from the young pirate and went to grab Pintel. He pushed him into Jack's quarters and slammed the door.

Pintel dropped his rum bottle and narrowed his eyes at Barbossa. "What is it?"

The first mate went over to Jack's desk, got himself a fresh apple, and bit into it, savoring the sweet flavor. Then he said resentfully, "Ye told him to come and ask me about the eye, didn't ye?"

He nodded. "Aye. What's it to ya?"

"He-"

From outside there came knocking and the frantic voice of Ragetti. "Please, I'm sorry! I didn't mean to do nofink wrong, I'm sorry! I take it all back!"

"Shut up!" Barbossa yelled back at the door. Immediately the knocking and yelling grew silent, much to his satisfaction. He glared back at Pintel. "Don't ye understand?"

"Understand what? That your denying him his reward?" Pintel asked before saying, "You didn't see him today; he's never picked up a sword a day in his life! He was scairt stiff!"

"An' there'll be worse things to come, master Pintel! You know what this life is like! It's not exactly a tea party."

Pintel didn't say anything to this. How could he? In his mind, insanley, he found himself thinking, _Yeah, it may not be a tea party for the resta us, but it should be fer him. _But he certainly wasn't a fool, she he didn't dare even consider voicing this thought out loud. Instead he nodded and said, "Yeah, I know that."

"Then ye should know damn well what's to become of him."

He looked up into Barbossa's cold, dark eyes. "Wha's to become of 'im?"

The pirate just smiled cruelly and answered, "I need a safe place to put my Piece of Eight. A place where I'll always be able to look and see that its still there."

And suddenly it all began to make sense to Pintel. His eyes grew wide as he sputtered, "Y-Yer going to cut out his _eye?"_

Barbossa's smug look faded into one of scorn at Pintel's words. "What? No!"

"Then what are you goin' on about?"

"I'm simply saying that if something unfortunate were to happen to him, then, and only then, would I be willin' to part with the wooden eye. Only when I can be sure that it's safe, in a certain and unchanging place, will I give it to him."

Pintel shook his head and glared at him. "Yer hateful, Barbossa."

He shrugged and said in an unconcerned way, "I'm a pirate. What did you expect? A saint?" and he took another, crunching bite into his apple and jerked his head in the direction of the door. "Yer friend's waitin'."

Pintel, trying not to let his anger and sorrow show, lowered his head and walked towards the door. Before he reached it, though, he heard Barbossa add, "An' I wouldn't tell the lad if I were you, unless you want it to become much worse than he deserves. If ye tell him, I'll cut it out meself." and he chuckled and said, "Now, Pintel, you couldn't have honestly thought that a lad like that would make it though his whole pirate career unscathed? The boy's an idiot."

* * *

"Damn! Oh, bloody hell, Ragetti, why did ye have ta plant yer bony ass right in the middle of the walk?" Pintel demanded as he walked out of Jack's quarters and stumbled over the skinny figure of Ragetti.

The boy had gone from hysterically knocking on the door to sitting on the deck, hugging his knees and resting his head in his arms. Pintel sat down next to him and watched as all the other pirates drank and had fun. He sighed and rubbed his eyes. Ragetti's gaze shot over to him. He looked worried.

"I'm sorry, Pinters."

Pintel rolled his eyes at this. So, the boy had gone from calling him Pintel, to Pint, and now Pinters? _Well, how worse could it get from here? _He wondered to himself. He didn't point it out though, only said tirdley, "Fer what, Raggers?"

If the boy could call him Pinters, he could call him Raggers whenever he pleased, no matter if it made him feel like a right, good fool. Ragetti didn't seemed thrown off in the least as he said, biting his lower lip nervously, "I's sorry fer makin' ya go in an' talk to 'im like that."

He shrugged. "S'fine, I guess."

There was a moment of silence before Ragetti dared to say, "Well...I was just sittin' out 'ere wonderin', while you was inside talkin' to Barbossa an'..."

"Yer gonna get that eye," Pintel commented. Ragetti stared at him oddly, as though he had completely forgotten about this problem.

"S'alright. I don' mind waitin' a while."

"Well ya should!"

"Oh." was his only response. Pintel glared at him.

"Is that it?"

Ragetti frowned. "Is what it?"

"That! Just 'oh', like it's nothing in the world."

"Well maybe it is nothing."

"Well it should be something," Pintel said moodily. "When someone promises someone else something, they shouldn't break their promise."

There was another long pause before Ragetti cleared his throat, swallowed, and finally asked, all in one seemingly nervous breath, "Pinters, we're friends, right?"

Pintel's heart froze for a long moment before he said numbly, "Aye, I guess."

The question had caught him utterly off guard, had made him feel suddenly embarrassed. How could he tell Ragetti that he had never actually hada 'friend' before to know what they were like? He tried to clear his nervousness at Ragetti's question out his brain as the other pirate chuckled to himself and smiled his stupid, hapless grin.

"Whatchu smilin' about, ya fool?"

"Well...s'jus' that...I ain't never had a friend before, an' I think we're friends."

Pintel swallowed and asked dully, "Oh really?"

Next to him Ragetti nodded and stared up at the endlessly starry sky. The full moon shone like a milky sphere above them, lighting the deck of the _Pearl _in grand rays of silver. "Yeah, an'...w-w-ell..." his voice trailed off as he began to stutter again, a sure sign of nervousness and shame. "I fink we're friends. I fink I'm yer friend."

"Okay," was all that Pintel could say to that.

"Yeah, an' I...well _you..._" Ragetti sighed and looked down. In the pale moonlight Pintel could just make out a pinkish tint to his face, another sure sign that the lad was embarrassed with himself. Despite himself, Pintel grinned at this.

"What is it, Raggers?" In his mind he had willed himself not to call him this again, but somehow it slipped past his seemingly unfiltered mouth. Pintel cursed aloud this time. "Bloody hell..."

This made Ragetti jump and look over to him. A numerous waterfall of apologies came fourth, as endless as the stars that shone above them. "I'm sorry, Pint, I really am...I jus' don' know what I'm sayin' sometimes an' I'm sorry. I won't talk again, you'll see!"

He sighed. "Alright, alright! I'm yer friend jus' so long as ye promise to never say yer sorry again!"

Ragetti grew silent and stared at him over his fringed, greasy mop of blond hair. "But that'll never happen!"

"Then make it!"

"I'll try..." and his voice trailed off. Ragetti ventured, "Ya know, ya really did save m'life today."

"Well it certainly ain't worth much." Pintel commented offhandedly. When Ragetti stared at him with a look of confusion, he explained, "Yer life, I mean." and he looked down, suddenly ashamed with his harsh comment.

"Well, I just wanted ta say thanks fer that."

"Yer welcome."

Then they both grew silent and stared out at the vastness of the open ocean that was washing past the _Pearl. _Yes, Pintel had learned a lot today. He had learned that there was no way that he could possibly leave Ragetti to die, and that he had somehow managed to make the first friend that he had ever made in his life, despite all odds. This last fact served to make him feel oddly content inside, a warm, welcome feeling that he had never felt before. But he had also learned something else, something much grimmer than anything else.

Thanks to Barbossa he had learned that there was no way in bloody hell that he could keep Ragetti safe for the rest of his life. The boy would get hurt one day, and although it hurt even Pintel to think about it, he had no choice. There was a reason that Barbossa had chosen Ragetti to bear the burden of his piece of Eight, and it was that the boy was a pure liability.

Pintel sighed to himself and hugged his knees to him, in the same way Ragetti was doing. He looked over at his companion, and for one brief second he considered telling him this, but elected not to. He decided that it wouldn't do any good. In fact, the best thing that he could do for Ragetti would be to leave him be in his world of childlike make believe. Yes, that was plan B.


	5. Part I, Chapter 5—An Eye For An Eye

_The Amazing Misadventures of Two Half-wits_

_Part I—Before the Curse of the Pearl_

_Chapter 5—An Eye For An Eye_

[][][]

Days passed and so did many ship battles and raids on ports, but Ragetti still didn't have that cursed wooden eye yet. The more Pintel considered this, the angrier he got. Besides that, the more things that Ragetti seemed to walk away from unharmed, the more painful—and 'accidental'—encounters he seemed to have with Barbossa.

The more days that went by, the more Pintel began to worry about this, until one day he couldn't stand it anymore. He and Ragetti were just mopping up the deck—like they did every other day of the year—when Barbossa came up to them, his hand clutching a ripe, green apple. He glowered over them, his mouth twisted in a sneer.

"Good work, lads. Keep it up."

Ragetti looked up and asked in almost a whisper, " 'Scuse me, sir?"

Just as Barbossa turned to walk off, he he stopped. "What?"

He opened his mouth to say something, but all that came out was a fearful, "Nothin' sir." and he continued his work. Barbossa nodded and walked off, seemingly satisfied. Once he was gone, Pintel glared at the feeble Ragetti.

"Wha' was _that?"_

Ragetti looked up, his messy hair in his eyes, almost completely obstructing his line of vision. "What was what, Pint?"

"_That!"_

"I don' know what 'that' is, Pint."

He sighed and took a moment to calm down before he explained, "What were ya just about to ask Barbossa? Was it about the eye?"

Ragetti nodded and said simply, "Course it was."

"Well then why didn't ya _ask _him about it, ya fool? Why do ya always gotta back down? He won't know what yer thinkin' until ya tell 'im!"

"I guess I could."

He nodded. "Yeah, ya could, so why don't ya?"

Ragetti thought for a second then shrugged. "Guess I just don't want ta trouble him more than he's already troubled."

"Well yer _about _to be in trouble unless you go up right now and ask him where that eye is an' why ya don't have it yet!" Pintel growled. Ragetti threw his mop down and nodded.

"Right. I deserve a award fer all me hard work, right?"

Pintel narrowed his eyes and responded dully, "Ya mean reward, Rags, not an award."

"Right! I deserve a reward, right?"

"Yeah, yeah, now go and talk ta Barbossa. Fellas are startin' to stare." he said, trying to ignore the prying stares of the other curious pirates.

Ragetti nodded and went to find the first mate again, but returned sometime later looking sadder than ever. Pintel watched the young pirate as he picked up is mop and resumed his work. He asked in an irritated tone, "What happened, Rags?"

"Well he-"

Before he could even finish his sentence the voice of Twigg sounded out across the deck. "Ship out across the way! Starboard side, flyin' colors of the French!"

Jack hurried out of his quarters and pushed past hoards of pirates that had gathered on one side of the _Pearl. _He elbowed past Pintel and Ragetti and squinted at the approaching outline of a large ship. He frowned and wrinkled his nose slightly.

"Oh. Well that's not good."

"What?" some pirates asked. Jack ignored them and turned to Barbossa, who stood next to him, still gnawing on his apple. His monkey rested on his shoulder, screeching eagerly.

"Oi, First Mate Barbossa, what do you reckon? A Frigate or a Galleon?"

"Neither. Ship of the Line, that be."

Every one of the pirates began talking amongst themselves. Ragetti just turned to Pintel and asked obliviously, "What does that mean?"

"What?"

"A Ship of the Line, is that bad?"

Pintel said, "Well, those be the worst kinds of ships that can come at a pirate. Each of 'em's specially made fer huntin' down and killin' folk like us."

"Oh. That's not good, is it?" Ragetti asked. He shook his head.

"Nah, things could be better, mate."

"Oh, bugger." Captian Sparrow muttered as he leaned a little farther over the rail of the _Pearl _in an effort to get a better look at the approaching ship. There came the sound of cannon fire as the Ship of the Line fired off a round at the _Pearl_. Jack flew back from the edge of the rail and laced his fingers together.

After a crucial second of much consideration and thought, he frowned and said, "Right. Um...man the cannons, lads."

All of the pirates glanced at each other. Barbossa sighed and rolled his eyes at their hesitation. "To the cannons, ye useless maggots!"

At once everyone began hurrying below deck to man a cannon, leaving only a few pirates—plus Jack and Barbossa—above deck. Jack let out a little grunt of discomfort and said, "Barbossa, you hold down the _Pearl. _Make sure that the lads do their jobs." He hurried off. Barbossa glared at him.

"Where are ya goin', Jack?"

"To find me rum."

* * *

"Get me a cannon, ya fool!"

"I'm tryin', Pint, but there are people everywhere!"

Pintel sighed and rolled his eyes. "What did I do to deserve this?"

"Hey, I got one!" Ragetti called as he hurried back to the cannon that he and Pintel shared. His thin arms quaked under the weight of the cannonball, and as he dropped it at Pintel's feet, he let out a groan. "Why do they's gotta be so heavy?"

Pintel shrugged as he loaded the cannon. "I dunno, Rags. To kill stuff, I guess."

Before he could even light it, the wood of the _Pearl _began to splinter as the Ship of the Line's cannons blasted off. Pintel ducked, but Ragetti, who was too terrified to even breathe, stood there above him, cowering.

There came the sound of splintering wood filled the air as cannonballs ripped through the hull of the _Pearl. _Above deck Jack could be heard shouting, "Stop blowing bloody holes in my ship! We just finished fixing her!"

But the cannon fire didn't cease. Ragetti stood there covering his ears, lighting the cannon as Pintel yelled, "Fire!"

Then there came a cannon that cut through the hull right next to Ragetti's face. The pirate was blown to the ground by the impact. He let out a cry as the sharp, splintered wood from the _Pearl's _hull cut into his flesh. He lay in the ground sobbing once it was all over, gripping the side of his face. Pintel hurried over to him, worry beginning to steal the air in his lungs.

His heart was squeezing tightly, and for one horrible moment he thought he might pass out, but it passed when he saw the pain that blazed in his friend's uncovered eye. "Pint, what'd I do wrong?"

He shook his head and said in what he hoped was a confident way, "Tain't done nothin' wrong, Rags."

Ragetti let out a little sob and his two bony hands, which were covering the left side of his face, began trembling, "It hurts s'bad!"

"What 'appened? Lemme see."

He shook his head quickly and let out a yell at the pain the movement brought. "I...I can't. T'hurts too bad, Pint, please don' make me..."

"Move yer hands." Pintel said as he tried to push them aside himself.

Ragetti let out a horrible, "No!" as he tried to fight off his friend's touch.

Pintel rolled his eyes as he fought to control the growing, sickening worry that was threatening to overtake him. Ragetti, sensing this, calmed down a little. _I can't panic, I can't._ Pintel thought as he gripped both of Ragetti's bony wrists in one hand and forced his quaking hands away from his face. What he saw made him feel sick all over again.

"Oh, Jesus, Rags...what happened to ya?" was all that he could say.

The whole side of Ragetti's face was torn apart, marred by the splintered wood of the _Pearl. _His eye was tearing out drops of flowing redness and was filling with blood, turning from pristine, pure white to a painful, bloody red. The iris, which had once been a cheery blue, was now clearly sliced open in places, oozing some unknown fluid, and tinted maroon. Pintel hurriedly released Ragetti's hands and allowed him to cover his face again. He tried not to look too disgusted, but Ragetti saw past this act.

"Wha'? What's wrong with me eye?" and he began sobbing again, his whole body trembling. "S'hurts real bad, Pint, an' I don't know what I done wrong, but I fink I'm dyin'."

Pintel shook his head. "Yer not dyin', ya f-fool." he cursed himself for allowing his voice to waver so suddenly. Ragetti didn't notice, however, because he was stuttering horribly himself.

"H-How d-d-do ya know?"

He racked his brain with for an answer and said the first thing that popped into his mind. "Well a'fore folks die, they sees a light."

Ragetti tried to raise a brow but grimaced as pain shot through him. He managed to sputter, "A-A light?"

He nodded. "Aye, that's right. A light."

" 'Ow do ya know?"

Pintle thought for another moment then shrugged. "S'jus' what they see, I suppose."

"Well, 'ow do ya know what a dyin' man sees afore he dies if you never died a'fore?"

"Why're ya askin' so many questions? I thought that ye were supposed to be in pain."

"I am!"

"Then shut yer mouth!" Pintel snapped before thinking. Then he took a moment to calm down before saying gently, "Now listen 'ere Rags, I've seen men die an' I've heard 'em sayin' they're last words, an' I ain't no expert in the matter, but I'd dare to speculate that a'fore they die, a'fore they breaf they last breath and leave this Earth, they see a light."

Ragetti nodded and hesitated for a moment before asking, "But _'ave _ye ever died?"

He sighed once more and rubbed his eyes. Finally he said, "Okay, Rags, now we're gonna get ya up them steps that lead to the upper deck an-"

"Pint, pint!" Ragetti suddenly yelled as he began to grope blindly around, "I...I can' see!"

He gasped. "What do ya mean ya can't see?"

"I can' see!"

"Ya can or ya can't?"

Ragetti began to sob, tears streaming from his good, blue eye. His face became fearful as he yelled, "I don't know...I can't see nofink!"

"What do ya mean?"

His hand reached blindly for Pintel's shoulder and squeezed. "Everythin' is black an' the sounds is echoin'."

Pintel let out a mournful cry and said, "Ragetti, are you serious?"

"What?" was all the he responded.

Pintel sighed and looked around. "God, I hope no one sees me do this..." he muttered as he scooped the young, shivering pirate up into his arms and hurried above deck. Surprisingly, everyone was cheering, raising their swords and all swigging down bottles of rum. Pintel frowned.

"What the bloody hell's goin' on around here?"

"Master Pintel, just what are ya doin' carryin' that wretch in yer arms?"

He looked to his left to see Barbossa approaching him, a sneer, as always, on his face. Pintel cleared his throat. "Well, sir, he's hurt, an'-"

"An' you just figured that you'd-" and his eyes it up as he realized the full brunt of what Pintel had just said. He nodded and held out his arms. "Let me see the lad."

Pintel glared at the other pirates as they gathered around, including Captain Sparrow. Jack frowned at the sight of Ragetti and said, "Oi, he's not dead yet?"

"Apparently not." Pintel growled hatefully at him as Ragetti was taken out of his arms.

Barbossa was none too tender with him, but thankfully the young pirate had passed out. He glared down at Ragetti and slapped his face lightly. "Lad, are ya alive? Lad? Hello, can ye hear me?"

"Sir, he can't-"

"Silence, Pintel. I wasn't talkin' to you." and with that Barbossa roughly turned Ragetti's face, observing his every cut and injury. Slowly a sick, twisted smile began to form on his lips. "_Perfect." _

Barbossa threw the thin form of Ragetti back into Pintel's arms and ordered, "Take him down to yer hammocks. We'll get someone to look him over."

Jack sighed. "But why, Barbossa, are we wasting our time trying to save him when we have numerous other, better lads to-"

"Jack, are ye a fool or just drunk?"

The Capitan thought about it for a moment then glared at him. "Just drunk, you bugger." and he turned to the rest of the pirates and, stealing another man's rum, exclaimed, "Oi, did I say stop celebrating? Get on with it, ye lazy..."

Pintel felt himself grow sick with worry as he walked with Ragetti over to the hammocks. He looked out and, much to his surprise, he saw a perfectly red and orange sunset hanging over the crystal waters of the Caribbean. The orange orb that was the sun was sinking low below the horizon, and sailing into it was the Ship of the Line, letting off torrents of thick smoke. It's waving flag was now silhouetted against the dying light of the sun, in rough tatters.

* * *

After he had put the unconscious Ragetti in his hammock, Jack had come in and slapped in on his shoulder. "Good work, lad, but now it's time to let the doctor do the rest."

Pintel arched a brow. "We have a doctor on this ship, sir?"

Jack frowned. "Well, not in a literal sense, but he's been trai—well, that's a lie. He hasn't been trained in a literal sense either, but he's the best that we've got for surgical things and such."

"Surgical?"

"Aye, lad. The bloke's going to lose that eye, I'd wager." and as Jack urged Pintel back to the upper deck, he said, "Who knows? He'll probably die."

Pintel sighed as he went above deck. If Ragetti died then he didn't know what he would do. The kid had become a regular, expected, and welcome part of his life now. To take him out of it again would be impossible to readjust to. He sighed and went to find himself a bottle of rum. This was going to be a long night.

* * *

The next morning Pintel awoke on the deck of the _Pearl _to the sound of Barbossa's voice. "Hey, lad, wake up. It's mornin'."

He let out a tired grunt and looked up at him. "Huh? What time is it?"

"Time fer ya to go and check on your friend. Now! I ain't takin' more thank five minutes outta my busy schedule for you."

"Yeah," Pintel said, stifling a yawn, "I'm comin', I'm comin'."

He followed Barbossa down to the hammocks. The place was empty. Bright, overly cheerful sun rays pierced through the planks of the _Pearl, _illuminating the place_. _Only one hammock was occupied. Pintel felt his heart begin to pound in his ears as he walked a little faster. Barbossa grinned at his obviously concerned behavior.

"A little eager, are we? Well don't get too excited. He's in an awful state, but Patel did the best he could."

Pintel frowned. "Patel? Who the bloody 'ell is Patel?"

"Aja Patel, the closest pirate that we could find to a doctor." Barbossa smiled and added as if it would ease his worries, "He's from the East Indies. They be good at all that mystic mumbo-jumbo." and he stepped back and nodded towards the sleeping form of Ragetti. "Go ahead."

"You're just gonna stay right there?"

Barbossa nodded. "Yeah. Captain Jack wanted me to make sure that ya didn't stick around the whole day. You still have work to do, you know."

Pintel said nothing as he leaned a little closer to Ragetti and said roughly, "Hey, wake up, ya fool. Rags? Ragetti, if yer still with me say so, or else I'm goin'."

Ragetti let out a tired moan and opened his one good eye. The other side of his face was completely bandaged with some old, tattered cloth. "Pint? Wha' happened? Where am I?"

"Yer in the _Pearl, _Rags."

"Oh."

Pintel rolled his eyes. "Again with the 'oh'."

Ragetti didn't say anything for a moment. He ran one of his bony hands over the cloth that covered his face and whispered, "Am I alive?"

"Course yer alive, ya fool. If you were dead do you think I'd be here?"

"But..." his voice trailed off and his blue eye became hazy as he said, "...what happened to m'face? I can't see outta me eye..."

"Don't take the bandage—"

Before he could even finish his sentence, Ragetti had removed the cloth, and his filthy hands were roaming over his sunken cheeks. He swallowed and winced as he gently fingered the hallowed-out socket that had once housed his eye. He looked back at Pintel, his head cocked slightly to the side in an effort to even out his now lopsided vision.

Then he asked the stupidest question that Pintel had ever heard in his life. With a straight face and his one good eye looking puzzled, he inquired, "Where'd me eye go, Pint?"

He sighed and distractedly scratched his balding head. "Well, Rags," he said shyly, "ya sorta lost it."

"Oh."

Pintel frowned. _Again? Really? Is that the best he could think to say? I did sort of save his life for the second time, after all..._

And then it came. "Pint, I don't remember mucha anythin'. Is that bad?"

"Well it's not good, if that's what ya mean."

"Oh. Hey, Pint?"

He looked down at him. "Yeah, Rags?"

"Why's Barbossa laughin' like that?"

Pintel opened his mouth to say something, but stopped. He turned around to face the pirate, who indeed was chuckling softly to himself, rolling the wooden eye around in the palm of his hand. Upon realizing that their attentions were focused on him, he stopped and cleared his throat.

"Aye, yes. Ye be wantin' that wooden eye now, don't ye?"

Ragetti nodded. Pintel narrowed his eyes at Barbossa, sensing the sarcasm. "Just let 'im have it, Barbossa."

The first mate pushed past him and held out his hand. The wooden eye sat in the middle, staring at Ragetti with its false pupil. He forced it into the young pirates hand and said, laughing all the while, "There ya go, lad. Congratulations, there's yer prize, and yer not even dead!" and he went out to where the other pirates were busy doing work.

Once Barbossa had left, Ragetti began rolling the eye around in his hand joyously, yelling, "Ya see that, Pint? Isn't that brilliant?"

But Pintel didn't see what was so great about this at all. He shook his head and said, "Jesus, Rags, don't ya realize what ya had to loose to get that cursed eye?"

When he looked down at the happiness in Ragetti's face, the amazement in his one, shining blue eye, he sighed. How could he be mad at a time like this, when his companion was so happy? It was impossible. Pintel smiled down at him and said roughly, "Ah, ya fool, s'not a big deal, noways. You still have another eye, after all." and he chuckled. "I suppose that's why God gave us two of everythin', huh?"

But when Ragetti tried to force the wooden prosthetic into his empty, still bloody eye socket, Pintel grabbed his bony wrist and stopped him. "Are ya crazy? Do you _want _to die a horrible, slow death on account of infection?"

Ragetti paused before answering. "Well...I guess that I wouldn't mind if it meant that I could wear the wooden eye right now."

Pintel glared at him. "It'll be painful."

The other pirate let out a frightened squeak and shook his head. "Na, I don't wanna die yet."

"Good," he said as he watched Ragetti put the eye in his pocket. "and anyways, I don't think that ya can _wear _an eye."

"Who says not?"

"I do, now shut up and stay outta trouble until I get back." Pintel said as he turned to join the other pirates and begin his work. Ragetti reached out and caught him, nearly tumbling out the hammock as he did so. "What, ya fool?"

"Where ya goin'?"

"To do work."

"Oh. Okay. Hey, Pint?"

"Yeah?"

"Why'd that Ship of the Line stop shootin' at us an' just give up?"

Pintel frowned in thought. "Well, I guess it's because while I was busy mindin' you, the other lads was still firing off cannons."

"Uh-huh. Oh, and hey, Pint?"

He stopped walking and turned around again. "Yeah?" he asked, rather irritably.

Ragetti seemed to turn an fragile shade of red as he said quietly, "M'sorry that I ruined everything."

Pintel shrugged. "S'fine, I guess. I'm used to you messin' up things by now, ya fool."

And without another word, Pintel turned and left, feeling the weight of worry and despair for Ragetti lift off of him. Thank God he was alive, thank God.

* * *

Thanks for your reviews. Keep it up, please. I appreciate it. The next chapter is coming up soon, and after that there comes Part II, where Pintel and Ragetti cope with the curse of the Pearl and all that good stuff. Hope you enjoy.


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